A little story about Finland (and me)

Let me tell you guys about Finland and how it’s such a great country. I mean, we can talk all day about the great sights around Helsinki or the magical woods full of trance music and kids on drugs, but since it is a borderline communist country with bureaucracy as the great leader we have civic duties. I happened to be born a potato nosed, stumped ass citizen –or so I have been lead to believe by the mirror and my passport. Also my drinking habits are as awful as they get.

Now here’s the deal, I need to attend these civic duties and I’ve been thinking what the hell will I do with that time. I will be sent to a concentration camp in the middle of nowhere, the place used to be slaughterhouse where all the hippies that didn’t want to shoot with a gun were shot by a gun as the story goes. These days they just send young men during the best years of their life there to waste away their natural beauty (or what they have left of it) and time that could be spent earning or learning.

I have to be honest here, I’m fucking scared that there will be some love and peace type indoctrination, like how to give first aid and how to mediate arguments or something. I think it’s all bull, just like the military service. Yet, duties are duties my friend and since I was kicked out of the army because I was a spokesperson of cannibalism and rampant homosexuality, I have to go to the civil service.

The worst part about it is that I need to find a job. I already have a job and I’ve been searching for a full-time job, but unemployment is high and it’s hard to land work, especially in a country that hates English speakers more than the Swedes or Russians. Truth be told, Finns hate everything that walks on two legs that they can’t shoot or drink. Hence they live in Finland.

So, I need a job that won’t pay me squat. A job that I should do to honor my birth and my ancestors that fell to Soviet bullets. Now I believe just doing that isn’t enough, but I should really come up with something fucking amazing and capitalistic. I need to think like a fat pig, which I’m not, but I will do so to go the distance.

I could start a project:

  • Like writing a poem for each day of service, like a Diary of “Hello this is Slave”.
  • Or a leap into photojournalism with a picture everyday about something pointless that you never wanted to see and now you can never get your time back, so you just click fucking ‘Like’ because of touché.
  • Draw a picture everyday and work on getting that portfolio done, because you’re going to need it if you want to enter an art school someday to follow Uncle Adolf’s footsteps in the fight against Social Democrats.
  • Give up.


I don’t know, but maybe one of you will know. I hope to come up with something that I could be more active on this site and this blog. I started this blog to make entries in it and not to let it rot somewhere in the internet. It’s time to step up!

Your’s truly,


2 thoughts on “A little story about Finland (and me)

    • No worries! I’m not desperate enough to give up quite yet.. at least.
      Thank you for visiting my blog, I hope you enjoyed the stay, and thank you for leaving a comment. I will heed your advice.

      Best wishes!

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