I was laid down.
I was ground.
And as ground I worked,
as a ground should.
I worked as footing for the dogs that walked all over me,
the same way I walked all over her –Mother Earth.
Today we were flipping coins with Marcus. We were trying to decide who’d go and try to get the girls sitting at the corner table to join us.
”Heads or Tails, man!?” Marcus would holler right into my ear over the table. ”Heads or Tails!?”
I knocked the table twice with my fingers and chose Tails. It didn’t make a difference to me. Both of the girls were my type. I didn’t have a type since all women were my type. It was the same for Marcus.
Marcus flipped the coin, letting it land on the table. The situation always got interesting when the coin wouldn’t land on either side. Instead it would just stand there, towering in its improbability. It was a big fuck you from fate.
I never really understood stalemates. Never was I disheartened by one either. Though I never really realized that one would be so scary – yet soothing and unexciting. It made me think that life and death were the different sides of the same coin.
Look, we flipped this coin into the air and it landed in a stalemate. Let’s say one of the girls at the corner table was lesbian (or religious) and the coin would’ve decided that I should approach her. It would’ve been the death of me as I have issues. I get ashamed very easily.
Now if the coin would have landed so that Marcus should do the talking it wouldn’t matter. He never cared about anything and that’s why he was my friend, or I wanted to keep him as my friend. I hated him.
Marcus didn’t make a sound as he looked at the coin standing on the table. He looked at me and just smiled. He was going to do it, he was handing me a victory by taking the lead. Marcus granted me life from limbo, so to speak.