Top 10 Ways to be Crazy

NOTE: All of these are true stories that I have witnessed or done myself.

1. Suffer from severe mental disorders and refuse to take your medication because the voices tell you that everyone wants to kill you. Lock yourself up in your home and use the internet to deliver food to your domicile.

2. Jump around in a long distance train proclaiming that we have raped mother earth and that you are a secret agent that found a bomb on board the train while holding up a lighter.

3. Make a ruckus in a bus by saying that you will beat up anyone who tries to lay their hands on your gurrl. Notice: You must not have a gurrl with you, because if you do you’re just another macho boyfriend.

4. Accuse everyone at the notorious hipster pub/café of genocide.

5. Walk into your roommates part of the apartment and stare at them sleep, while being too afraid to move as to not wake them up. Originally you were aiming for the kitchen for a midnight snack, but staring at sleeping people will do too.

6. Attack a bouncer with a remote control and claiming that the remote IS indeed the secret that they’re hiding in Area-51.

7. Live a long happy life.

8. Show your friends the contents of your recently vomited bile.

9. Read the news.

10. If you aspire to become a CEO of a big company or other highly ambitious positions/careers, you most likely are fucking crazy to begin with. Good job.

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